The Problem with Gratuitous Sportswear...

Anybody who knows me personally (or follows the blog of the Shop Security Department The Life and Times of a Delinquent Deerhound) will already know my feelings on this subject...

Sportswear, worn when not actively pursuing a sporting activity, is lazy, repellent and, frankly, just morally wrong. I mean, why would you...? Most sportswear, whilst arguably being fit for the purpose of the sporting activity for which is was designed, is made from nasty fabrics, badly cut, unflattering and just plain ugly.

“Oh, but it's comfortable and so easy to wear!” go the cries of the wearers. Maybe it is, and that's fine when you're doing something sporting that requires it. But wearing it when you're out in public doing anything other than sport suggests that you are lazy, feckless and unimaginative. Not to mention ghastly to look at.

“But it's perfect for lounging about it!” some people have tried tell me. Really? Are you sure about that? Can you picture Greta Garbo or Sophia Loren reclining on a chaise longue wearing 'jogging bottoms'? No? Neither can I. It just doesn't compute. And if you think Helen of Troy would have launched any ships at all whilst dressed in a hoody and leggings, you have another think coming. She'd maybe have been asked to scrape the barnacles off the bottom of a few but launch them? Er, no. None of those glamorous icons held any truck with looking anything less than their best at any time. The idea of wandering around in slippers and running wear would have left them reaching for their smelling salts. And quite rightly, when there are plenty of glamorous options in which to lounge. Take a look at the Hollywood range from What Katie Did, for example. Glamorous, comfortable and absolutely perfect for lounging and/or sleeping in. And should need to answer the door, well you will impress rather than scare the postman, which has to be a good thing.  Happily, it's available from The March Hare.

As for elasticated waists, well don't even go there. That's the beginning of the end as far as waistlines are concerned. The minute you utter the reprehensible mantra, “Oh, but they're so comfy,” you are on a slippery slope to becoming a sofa-dwelling whale, fit to do little but watch Jeremy Kyle and fill your face with doughnuts. And that's not an attractive prospect, is it?

Now I'll grant you that part of the ethos behind The March Hare is that we cater for curves. Absolutely. We love curves. Curves are good. Whether you have them naturally or need a little help to harness them, we'll find 'em and show 'em off to perfection. We're all about accentuating that hourglass figure not hiding it under a shapeless abomination, designed to cover something unpleasant. We have good underwear, shapewear and proper, steel-boned, well-cut corsetry. We hold no truck with gratuitous sportswear. And neither should you. Unless, as stated before, you're doing something actively sporty, in which case we salute your energy and drive but we'll raise a glass to you from a nice shady terrace, if you don't mind. There'll be a glass waiting for you once you've showered and changed into something more suitable.  Don't be long...